Lord-Quake666

I no longer can actually achieve any level of creativity. No matter how hard I try I just get depressed and angry at myself. I have tried so hard to achieve such great feats in art, but have always come up so low.
I wish I could have done better, but alas, it's not a possibility anymore, and thus I give up on artistic endeavors for the foreseeable future. Sorry to anyone who actually cares about my creativity or art, but I cannot do it anymore. I apologise.

I'm totally out of it today.
I had all three of my wisdom teeth taken out on Saturday, and I feel pretty damn screwy today. I wasn't so bad yesterday because I had a lot of adrenalin or something, but today, I feel totally dizzy and I can't pay attention for more then two seconds. I'm thinking it's the pain killers I'm taking, the codeine is kinda fucking with my brain.

Either way, I can barely even move around today without feeling like I'm going to throw up, or actually even throwing up. I feel like crap.

*sigh*

I've found out a few things today which made me reconsider working at my work. I'm feeling a bit isolated at the moment and betrayed, it's not a nice feeling.
I wish I knew what to do about my work, I know I like it a lot, but somethings about it make me want to quit, or jump off a bridge. Sadly it's that thrill of, how bad will it be, that keeps me going back there. Am I insane?

I just wish things could even out, then I might stop having major panic attacks which involve me attempting to make everyone hate me. That's one of my only defenses... try to make people hate me, so that people can hate me for whatever flaws I feel I have (usually due to people telling me I have major flaws).
Either way, I feel pretty run down and crap. I know a lot of people are currently really angry at me, and maybe it should stay that way. I'm not sure if I'm worthy of having friends atm.

-no one

I'm so exhausted, I couldn't care less about much at the moment.
I wish I could, but I do not.
Sorry people.
Enjoy.
-Nobody of importance.

The last few days have been really crazy at school. Things have been changing a lot there, and not for good.
There's been some major theft, a few major violent incidence, and major bullying from students to teachers and students to students, all of which is really scary.
I'm personally not dealing too well with it at the moment, and my memory is shot, hell I didn't even remember that I was going to cats the musical tomorrow, until my parents told me, then gave me a major grilling about it. The problem is I'm so exhausted to even care at the moment, especially because it means I can't hang out with Evy, who really wants me to, and I'd really like to catch up with her again, since I haven't for ages.

Either way, I feel pretty bad and very exhausted. I'm kinda at that exhausted stage where I feel like I'm constantly going to throw up because I'm running myself on basically no energy. It's not very fun, and I'm forgetting a lot of things except: Get up, go to work (which I enjoy, until things go wrong), come home and bitch about work, do extra activities (even though I'm too tired), then crash out.
The cycle goes like this 5 days a week, then I sleep on the weekend.
Either way it is very tiring and I don't know how to fix it up, since I need to the money, but it's ruining my social life and everything. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them.

Also Evy, I'm sorry about not remembering Cats was on tomorrow. I know it's a TOTAL pain in the butt that I can't hang out with you tomorrow, but I'm sure we can find another day, unless you're way too pissed off with me, which I assume you are now.