Lord-Quake666

I no longer can actually achieve any level of creativity. No matter how hard I try I just get depressed and angry at myself. I have tried so hard to achieve such great feats in art, but have always come up so low. I wish I could have done better, but alas, it's not a possibility anymore, and thus I give up on artistic endeavors for the foreseeable future. Sorry to anyone who actually cares about my creativity or art, but I cannot do it anymore. I apologise.

I'm totally out of it today. I had all three of my wisdom teeth taken out on Saturday, and I feel pretty damn screwy today. I wasn't so bad yesterday because I had a lot of adrenalin or something, but today, I feel totally dizzy and I can't pay attention for more then two seconds. I'm thinking it's the pain killers I'm taking, the codeine is kinda fucking with my brain. Either way, I can barely even move around today without feeling like I'm going to throw up, or actually even throwing up. I feel like crap. *sigh*

I've found out a few things today which made me reconsider working at my work. I'm feeling a bit isolated at the moment and betrayed, it's not a nice feeling. I wish I knew what to do about my work, I know I like it a lot, but somethings about it make me want to quit, or jump off a bridge. Sadly it's that thrill of, how bad will it be, that keeps me going back there. Am I insane? I just wish things could even out, then I might stop having major panic attacks which involve me attempting to make everyone hate me. That's one of my only defenses... try to make people hate me, so that people can hate me for whatever flaws I feel I have (usually